dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
