omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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