it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize