yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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