I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
