Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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