I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
