Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
