There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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