: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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