If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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