call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
