party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
