Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
