The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize