I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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