I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
