Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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