I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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