If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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