I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
