TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
