apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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