Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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