You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
