Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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