Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
