Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
