Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
