Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
