Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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