OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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