Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
