But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
