My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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