If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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