just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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