We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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