The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
