Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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