Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
