thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize