Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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