All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I could make wine with my vomit
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
