i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
