either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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