this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
