The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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