Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
