Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
