Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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