I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I supernannyed him into submission
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
