so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
