Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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