He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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