Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Come share oat with me in your robe
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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