I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
