Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
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