ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
