Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
