Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
