she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
