idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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