She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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