What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
