I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
